my dad is like a library (and other thoughts)

there were two quotes i really liked today. one of them was a daughter reflecting on her father's death; she said "when my father died, it was like a whole library had burned down." i like that (not the dead dad part, but the sentiment). i remember driving with sarah. i think we were coming back from visiting josh in greenville and we were lost in asheville or maybe we were in terrible traffic and looking for an alternate route. we talked to my dad and he got us home and out of the mess. this was before mapquest and gps systems. he always knows the backroads. i know if i called him from most anywhere in the southeast, my dad could get me home. the author's father died when she was 21, so she felt she never really knew her dad as an adult. i feel like i only know my dad as an adult. and not because of divorce or an actual physical separation. we were just never close when i was young. i don't think he really liked girls between the ages of 9-18. i really don't blame him. i don't think i like them much either.

the other quote was someone speaking of an incident in a grocery store. the author and another shopper were chatting in the tea aisle and he asked her if she knew what bergamot oil was (weirdly i know this because i looked it up myself not too long ago, also because i was looking at a package of tea and wasn't sure what it was that i was drinking. it's one of the most wonderful smells in the world. i wish my whole house smelled like oil of bergamot). when she confessed she did not, had at one time meant to look it up, but hadn't, the gentleman said"it's funny...the things we're content not knowing." and it is. this makes me want to pick up the dictionary more often. and it sort of ties into the not really knowing the people in your family. i feel like we are so full of secrets. a little more open now, but we can't ever really be close because we're always hiding things from one another.

at least this has taught me about the kind of family i want to make with a. i want to be close and kind and helpful. i want to be open and affectionate and aware. i hope if we have children one day he or she will think their father is also like a library. and i hope this means to them somewhere full of fun and stories and history and music. a favorite place. i think a would like being compared to a library. i could really carry on with the library metaphor for a, but that could be a little obnoxious (and something i would laugh at if i were reading it written by someone else). i really have no doubts about having a family with a. i don't know anyone more kind and patient and thoughtful. yesterday was our 2 1/2 year anniversary and he made me a card and organized our books into the fireplace like i had wanted to do. we're sort of rethinking the moving to florida thing and i'm not so sad or disappointed. it's kind of nice to think about really fixing this house up and enjoying it for another year. as i was driving up to our house today after work, i realized how much i would miss our little place when we have to move. it's cozy and it's us. especially now that a has taken to keeping the place nice and neat. i'm excited about our future.